Mum To Mom

Musings of an Aussie Mother Living in the USA

Sing (though your heart is breaking)

This week has been a tough week. I have woken up every day to a slurry of grumpy attitudes (including my own) and toddler tantrums all before breakfast. The toddler’s tantrums have been over everything:

Not putting the right milk in his cereal.
Not letting him put the milk in his cereal.
Putting blueberries instead of raisins in his cereal.
Putting raisins instead of blueberries in his cereal.

And on it goes.

If you’ve ever been the mother of a 2-year-old, you know what I’m talking about.

Most mornings I can handle this with a slight amount of graciousness and understanding. But with the amount of sleep I’ve been getting this week (totally self-inflicted) grace was all but absent. And it got worse as the week went on.

Add to the 2-year-old tantrums, siblings squabbles, and stresses and emotional outbursts, the mornings have been less than peaceful.

And this all before we begin school. Every morning I despaired. How do I rein in the terrible tantrums and redeem the day?

Sing! (though your heart is breaking)

Most days it is my practice to start the formal part of our homeschooling with Morning Time. To call everybody together and begin I usually put on the current month’s folksong, or, more often, the 2-year-olds favorite Aussie folksong, Road to Gundagai.

By the end of the song everyone has joined in singing and are prepared and ready to begin the day. We then sing a hymn together. Our current selection is My Hope Is Built (on nothing less). This is followed by Bible reading and prayer, memory work, and a few other things.

Without fail, every single day this week, beginning our day with singing our folksong and hymn has abated the tantrum tempest. I won’t exaggerate and tell you we were all on our best behavior for the rest of each day. We are, after all, sinners in need of a Savior. And there is only so much that singing can do to make up for lack of sleep, but it helped. It really helped to reset our bad attitudes and be in a more positive and worshipful frame of mind as we heard God’s Word, prayed with repentance to a holy God, and approached our duties for the day. Harsh words were replaced with encouragement. Scowls and frowns were replaced by smiles and giggles. For a little while anyway.

So if you ever feel that your day has derailed before it’s even begun, sing. Sing together. Sing folk songs. Sing hymns. Your soul will be fed. Your children’s souls will be fed. And you’ll all be directed toward Him.

A New Look for Artist Study

We have always done artist study during Morning Time in our home. Initially, I used the links for the pictures on the Ambleside Online artist study page and we’d look at them online. I then got an app for my iPad and used that for a while to view the images. (You can read about how we did Artist Study here). The app became frustrating though because it took so long to load the images, which made it more difficult and time-consuming to use than it did to just click a link on the AO website. Last year I was determined to be more intentional about our artist study. I also wanted to have the artwork on display to look at more often than at the scheduled artist study time. So I got organized and printed the selections at a local Staples. Crunchy Conservative over at A Generous Education has made downloadable PDFs of the current year’s pictures following the AO artist study schedule. Her PDFs made sending the pictures to the printers a breeze. This worked well. I put our current picture in a frame and hung it above our kitchen table. We had many discussions about our pictures over our meals. When we were finished with a picture I replaced it with our next selection and put the old one in a binder kept in our school room. My hope was that the children would use the binder to look back over and enjoy the old pictures. But having pictures in a school binder is like telling them never to look at this again.

Recently I was listening to an interview with Emily Kiser, author of the Picture Study Portfolios at Simply Charlotte Mason, on the Your Morning Basket podcast. She talked all about artist study and encouraged mom’s to provide each student a picture of their own to look at.

I have toyed many times with the idea of getting our artist study prints from Simply Charlotte Mason. But although they contain extra information about the artist and the pieces, I always talked myself out of it knowing it was much cheaper to get them printed myself. Especially when we will study 3 artists over the whole year and I wanted a print for each of my 3 children. So when a deal of buy 1 photo book, get 2 free came up on Snapfish, I had an idea. 3 girls, 3 books for the price of 1. I would make my own artist study photo book for the whole year. Altogether, including shipping, these 5×7 softcover photo books cost $20.96.

I love this picture on the front by Mary Cassatt, don’t you? It captures the gooeyness of motherhood. Cuddles and coffee in bed in the morning. I assume it’s the morning because that’s when I have cuddles in bed. True to life, Mama is looking a little weary. The girls and I have always been more drawn to impressionism of all the art styles. I think it might be because we see ourselves more readily in impressionism than we do in some of the other styles. They mostly painted ordinary people doing ordinary things—playing on a lake, in a boat, walking in the street, cuddling in bed with Mommy. Although we live in a different century we are still ordinary people doing ordinary things.

I’m so pleased with how the books turned out. Some minor alterations obviously need to be made in the next book to make the alignment of the images fit better on the left pages. But overall, I’m very pleased with how my first attempt turned out. I wasn’t sure how the size would work but after using it for a couple of weeks now I can tell you that the size is perfect for little hands to hold and enjoy. Emily was right. Each student having their own copy is much better. Putting our artist study selections in a photo book also means that the children can keep them forever and remember the pictures we enjoyed and wondered at throughout our school days.

Hopefully, as they grow older, they will go on looking at beautiful art and love it as much as I love Cassatt’s “Breakfast In Bed” painting. It wasn’t one of our 6 Cassatt selections to look at for the term, but the more I looked at it, the more I loved it, the more it had to be on the front cover of our books. That’s the thing about artist study, you don’t know what pictures will capture your imagination. It’s not always the first look that develops the relationship between you and that piece either. You often have to look more than once and look intentionally, to see the truth, the goodness, and the beauty in the piece. That’s when you fall in love.

Cooking With Children: Toddlers

From the time they could walk, my kids have helped me in the kitchen. My mum let me bake on my own from an early age, I think I must have been around 9, so it seemed natural to me to have the children in the kitchen with me. If they ask me can they help, my default answer is “yes.” There is always something they can help me do. If I’m baking something, I’ll usually ask one of them to help me. I know that cooking with children can make the task take longer than usual at first, but as they gain experience, skills, and confidence, I’ve found it becomes a help in the long run.

Last week the toddler was all hands on deck.

Cooking with toddlers might sound crazy, but it really is as simple as having them put the chopped or measured ingredients into the pot or bowl; or mash the bananas for the chocolate banana oatmeal; or help you hold the hand beaters as you beat together cookie batter. It might take a little patience from you, but they feel so accomplished. And when you praise their efforts to their siblings, the young toddler, being so proud to have cooked a meal worthy of eating, may even be persuaded to eat the meal himself.

We had extra Kale in our organic box this week. My kids don’t love kale. They don’t like the texture. So I try to find ways of giving it to them without them knowing. Last week I decided to make a kind-of pesto out of it and throw it over some pasta. A proper pesto has pine nuts and parmesan cheese in it, but I didn’t have either so I had to work with what I had, with help from the little man of course.

It was delicious! The kids even liked it and had no idea that they were eating kale.

Recipe

Ingredients:

1 bunch kale, leaves removed
1 medium onion, peeled, roughly chopped
2-3 cloves garlic
1/4 cup of oil
Juice of 1 lemon
Salt
Pepper
1 box penne pasta
2 chicken breasts, chopped 1-inch cubed
1/4-1/2 cup grated cheddar cheese
2 carrots, roasted
2 sweet dumpling squash, halved, roasted (any pumpkin squash will do)

Method:

1. Cook pasta per directions on the packet.

2. While pasta is cooking, combine kale, onion, garlic, and lemon juice into food processor. Blend until a finely chopped consistency. Add oil, salt, and pepper and blend for 5 seconds. If the consistency of the pesto is too dry, add more oil, a tbsp at a time, until it has the consistency of a dip.

3. Heat a tablespoon of oil in fry pan. Once hot add chicken and cook through.

4. Once pasta is cooked and drained, put pasta back into the saucepan and pour the kale mixture over the pasta. Add cooked chicken, chopped roast carrots, roast squash and mix well. Sprinkle grated cheese over the pasta. If you are a cheese lover, add extra cheese to taste. Stir. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Note: I stirred through roasted carrot and sweet dumpling squash because that was what I had. The squash added a sweet creaminess to the dish that helped balance the slight bitterness of the kale, but when I cook this again I think I’ll swap the roasted carrot with grilled cherry tomatoes. They will look so much prettier and be a better match for the dish.

The 2 older girls were also in the kitchen last week.

E-Age-8 made bread (in a bread machine) all by herself. There is nothing like the smell of fresh homemade bread. Especially when it’s made by your 8-year-old.

A-Age-10 prepared and browned the chicken for the chicken goulash. A staple mid-week meal in our home.

She also made my birthday cake on her own from scratch. This chocolate cake is so good! I forgot to take a picture of the cake before we hoed into it, but here is a pic of what remained of it after the birthday celebration.

What have your children been cooking recently?

I’m thinking of making “cooking with children” a regular segment on the blog. If you want to see more recipes and cooking with children posts, let me know in the comments.

Homeschool Without Workbooks: Our Vacation to Australia

Last October, we had the pleasure of spending 5 weeks in our native country, Australia, for our family vacation. Upon returning to the U.S. I was asked several times if we did any school while over there. I immediately answered no. I wasn’t going to pack our math books in our suitcases and make the kids do copywork in between meeting cousins and reconnecting with grandparents. But as I reflected more on this question, I began to think that this might not be true. Out of interest, I decided to break down our experiences into their various fields of study. It is quite enlightening to break life down like this and see how much learning is going on incidently. Here’s my list along with some pretty photos of my home country.

Nature Study/Science

Visit to Werribee Open Range Zoo
Lion's at Werribee Zoo
Koala
Bison
Rhinosaurus on Safari
Hippopotamus

Admired the gum trees and compared the difference in color palette to that of tropical Florida’s.
Gum Trees
Gum trees
Appreciated the canola fields. E-Age-8 was quite taken with the wide open spaces and wished to run in a field like this. canola-field

Visit to a farm where we watched sheep sheared.
Sheep Farm
This trip seemed to be all about transport, especially for the 2-year-old little man. Airplanes, cars, steamboats, steam trains, and electric trains were all part of the experience.
Steamboat 1
Steam Engine
Steamboat 2
Steamboat 3
Steam Engine

The iconic Puffing Billy
Puffing Billy 1
Puffing Billy 2

The steamboat and steam train directly related to our Year 5 science book Great Inventors And Their Inventions. A-Age-10 didn’t make the connection at the time she was experiencing these things, but once we got home and resumed our usual school schedule she came out absolutely beaming, having just read about the invention of the steam train. She could not believe that she had actually traveled on the very invention she was learning about.

Observations of clouds and many, many, many discussions about the ever changing weather of Melbourne, Victoria. Only in Melbourne can it be bucketing down hail one minute then clear to be beautiful and sunny the next.

Geography

We flew to the other side of the world!!!! To a whole other country!!! Need I say more? And yet I shall because I can’t help myself. We looked at the map before we left and talked about the direction the plane would travel. The first leg of our flight was a domestic flight from Orlando, Florida to Los Angeles, California. So we learned where Florida was in relation to California. The next leg was our international flight to Australia which crossed the Pacific Ocean. We all know where the Pacific Ocean is now because we flew over it, and how far it is from America to Australia!
America to Australia Map

We considered the Murray-Darling Basin as we traveled by steamboat along the Murray River.
IMG_2068

We looked on with wonder as we discussed and compared the differences in the landscape between the various parts of Victoria that we visited.

The Great Ocean Road.
Great Ocean Road

The 12 Apostles.
12 Apostles

Blow Hole
IMG_2547

IMG_2548

Grotto
Great Ocean Road: Grotto

Gum trees, farmland, and great open fields in country Victoria where E-Age-8 got her wish.
Field At Sunrise
field
Dandenong Ranges

Math

Lots of cooking which involved converting imperial to metric, and lots of time figuring out how many days until Christmas (this was a very important computation).

Language arts

A trip to the bookstore with their Grandma encouraged emerging readers to read out loud and enjoy it. Wendy Harper’s pink books about princesses and encouragement from Grandparents never failed to keep interest long enough to finish the book.

More reading practice as we read road signs and other interesting papers, pamphlets, and displays.

There were many discussions about the differences in definitions of words between the U.S. and Australia, and lots of discussions about books.

Literature/History

We read lots of books. Many of the Australian books were historical fiction or made references to parts of Australian history.

Some Australian favorites were A Fortunate Life by A.B. Facey, The Nellie Stories by Penny Matthews (both read by A-Age-10 only), and Desert Lake: The Story of Kati Thanda-Lake Eyre by Pamela Freeman and Liz Anelli.

Aussie Books

A-Age-10 read anything she could get her hands on including her grandmother’s beloved Biggles collection.

Artist Study

Visit to Melbourne and the National Gallery of Victoria
Gog and Magogpainting
Sheep Shearing

Foreign Language

“G’day mate!!” – That’s a foreign language, right?

Although we never packed any school books to take on our voyage across the sea, we never stopped learning because education is not about ticking off checklists at the front of workbooks or in our school binders. Don’t underestimate the learning that takes place even without a workbook in sight. As Charlotte Mason said, “Education is life.” We are educated in our living and seeing and experiencing the world around us. Although I have broken down aspects of our vacation into neat little classifiable subject areas that we can print off and say, “Yes. Education happened, see?” The big idea that I realized is that these experiences and lessons make up a larger whole experience where relationships were forged with our world and the people in it. And ultimately, with God our creator, to whom we give the glory.

Graduation and Godliness: Cindy’s Homeschool

Mere Motherhood: Morning Times, Nursery Rhymes, & My Journey Toward Sanctification

This Christmas I was given the book Mere Motherhood: Morning Times, Nursery Rhymes, & My Journey Toward Sanctification by Cindy Rollins. Cindy is a mom of nine with over thirty years of homeschooling experience. For over ten years, she blogged her way through her efforts to homeschool under the principles of Charlotte Mason and classical education. Today, she is an occasional contributor at circeinstitute.org and is the co-host of The Mason Jar podcast on the CiRCE Institute Podcast Network.

I have been listening to her podcast for some time and having heard great things about this book I opened it with much anticipation. By the second page, the tears were welling up. She knew me and knew what this anxious mama needed to hear. I knew I had to share some of her wisdom with you.

“Perhaps the greater portion of you are in the middle years. You are just starting to panic a little bit. You are beginning to realize that tea parties don’t cure sin. You want some assurance that all will be well when you are starting to fear it might not be. Something may go wrong. You might miss stamping out a fire or two. I think this book will be a comfort to you. You are not alone. We who have gone before are still here. We will look you in the eye and say, ‘Motherhood hurts like hell’ but the old dragon skin does peel away. God is real. He is there. He doesn’t just love your children; he loves you. I have been young, and now I am old, and I have not seen the righteous forsaken.”

Throughout this book, Cindy gives insight into her 30-year homeschooling journey. She shares stories of her family, her successes and difficulties in homeschooling, and the trials and the triumphs of motherhood, all the while weaving through it drops of wisdom, drawing us to look to our Father in heaven.

“Motherhood is a place of dreamy hopes and crushed fantasies and the hard, hard work of sinners in relationship with one another day by day.”

“He is trustworthy and I can give my precious family to him.”

She shares how she used the practice of Morning Time, reading together Scripture, books, poetry, Shakespeare, and singing hymns to ground her family in the past as culture shifted around them.

“It is a habit that ties the past with the future – a liturgy of love. Morning Time is a way to collect grains of sand. It should not be a way to complicate life but rather simplify it.”

Because,

“For me the years did roll by, and they are rolling by for you, too. You are never going to have a lot of time, but you do have a little time here and a little time there, and those little times all add up to a life.”

She tells us how important our roles as mothers are.

“Motherhood is a high calling. Civilization depends upon motherhood. I do not believe you should lose yourself so thoroughly in your motherhood that that is all you are. That is not healthy for you or your family. But I do think women need to know that motherhood is a high-value commodity in the market of civilization.
Mama, you are the first pillar of education. You are a vital part of the infrastructure of culture, family, and even the body of Christ.
This is not about having the perfect family or the perfect school. Your success or failure doesn’t rest on your perfection, just your faithfulness.”

Yet she reminds us that ultimately, our children are God’s work. Not ours. He is in control.

“How could I go on creating beautiful pottery pieces if they weren’t going to turn out as I intended or hoped? … I had an epiphany. I was not the potter. A potter was shaping my children, but it was not me. I had forgotten what Charlotte Mason wrote: “Children are born persons.” Until that moment, I had not heard her with my heart nor truly understood with my mind. My son was not my product. He was the work of a great artist: the Creator of all.”

And she describes how God uses motherhood for our sanctification.

“Part of the sanctification of motherhood is learning to trust God with our children. One day we will come to the end of what we can do for our children. In those early days our children cannot live without us, but slowly they grow up and move away. This is almost always heart-wrenching, but the process also gives us a chance to lean on our Heavenly Father and to trust Him more. God has entrusted us with a great treasure. It is our life lesson to hand it back. To let it go. Our children must not become ‘Our Precious.’ In the end, we are merely mothers. Mothers who are also children of our Father. Let us run into His arms with great joy, knowing that when we see Him face to face we will not be standing alone.”

There was so much more to share but there isn’t space here. If you are a mom, especially a homeschooling mom, you just need to read this book. You will be glad you did. It is available to purchase here from The CiRCE Institute.

Other posts in this series

Graduation and Godliness: Sheryl’s Homeschool
Graduation and Godliness: Peggy’s Homeschool

Graduation and Godliness: Peggy’s Homeschool

I am very excited to share with you the second installment of my Graduation and Godliness series. I have been blessed to interview godly women who have homeschooled for a long time and have graduated some of their children. You can find Part 1 here. These women have many years of experience in the trenches and I am so thankful for their willingness to share what they’ve learned with us. Today we are blessed to hear from my friend, Peggy. I was so encouraged by Peggy’s wise words. I know you will be too.

Meet my friend, Peggy Hobden and her family

Hi! My name is Peggy Hobden and I feel very blessed to be asked to write on your blog, Tania. I have been married to Randy for 28 years. The Lord has blessed us with seven children and we’ve always homeschooled. Our children and their ages are Tim (26), Melissa (23), Stephanie (19), Heather (17), Chris (15), Kimmy (almost 13), and Grace (8). We have graduated the oldest three. Tim graduated with a Business-Finance Degree from UCF (mostly scholarship), Melissa is attending Valencia and getting a Business-Culinary Degree, Stephanie just graduated from Seminole State with her AA Degree and is continuing her education at Rollins College to pursue her Teaching Music Degree (mostly scholarship). Heather will most likely graduate next year and she is very creative and artsy. She wants to open her own Etsy store. Chris has an engineer brain like Dad. Kimmy and Grace are very creative. God made each one of our seven so different and we’re very thankful for each one of them and their unique ways. 😍

Why did you decide to homeschool?

We first saw Randy’s older sister homeschooling her four kids and at first we thought she was crazy. 😀 A couple of years later the Lord laid it upon our hearts to desire to homeschool our children – His way. We have tried different methods and curriculum over the years. Looking back when I had many young children, we had many unplanned days – lots of park days, field trips, reading aloud and hands on learning. Exhausting but fun, I miss those days…. We incorporated some of Charlotte Masons’ methods – narration, copy work, nature study and lots of outdoor play. Then as some of my kids got older we did co-ops and sometimes had great classic books discussions with others.

What was most rewarding about homeschooling?

The most rewarding part of homeschooling is getting to be with my wonderful kids every day. Sure most days are tough and exhausting but so worth it!! I’m grateful to be able to teach my children from The Word of God every day. I get to see my children building good relationships with one another. If they were at school every day this wouldn’t happen. It’s neat to see them go to one another – whether it’s a math problem, writing problem, or just to share life together. I love seeing godly fruit in their lives and their servant hearts. We love taking field trips together, even if it’s a last minute trip to the beach. 😀

Any regrets?

I think all Mom’s have some regret. I wish we had hid more of God’s Word in our hearts as a family. We also don’t want to compare ourselves with others. Of course I’m guilty of that too. Mom’s focus on godly character. Read lots of good books aloud that demonstrate God’s ways. I wish I had read aloud even more. Take the time to really listen to your precious children. I wish I hadn’t been so busy….. Cleaning, wasting time on the wrong things. Mom’s make wise choices for your days – seek God’s face and His plans for your family. Lots of prayer time – hide in the bathroom to pray.😀 For the days are short. Too short! You will blink and your beautiful children will be all grown up!! 😰

Any advice?

Mom’s make your days more fun; relax about school – plan more field trips, family vacations, date nights with your hubby, (even a meal at home on the porch-just the two of you), sing hymns together and make many great memories. Love on your children, hug them often – even when they think they’re too big 😀. Really enjoy them at every stage, study God’s Word together, read aloud often and have fun enjoying life together. Focus on our Lord Jesus Christ and serving together as a family. Focus on things that matter for eternity!!

 

Graduation and Godliness: Sheryl’s Homeschool
Graduation and Godliness: Peggy’s Homeschool ← You Are Here

Impressions from Ambleside Online’s 2016 Conference

Deep In The Heart of AO

Last week I had the joy of attending Ambleside Online’s “Deep in the Heart of AO” 2016 conference. I learned so much. It has enriched me in my homeschooling journey. If you don’t know, Ambleside Online is a free curriculum dedicated to reflecting Charlotte Mason’s education philosophy and method as closely as possible in the 21st Century. You can read a definition of what a CM education is here.

Christ Centered

We began using AO for 4 years, almost since the beginning of my homeschooling life. Charlotte Mason was a Christian and a member in good standing in the Church of England. Ambleside Online’s creators, The Advisory, are also Christians and designed the curriculum to reflect Charlotte Mason’s Christian values and philosophy. I knew this. I have told others, “AO is a Christian curriculum.” And yet what had the most impact on me at the conference was how Christ centered it was.

After the initial introductions and announcements were out of the way we began by singing the hymn “Holy, Holy, Holy.” There were no accompanying instruments. Simply our voices, which burst out as a sea of harmony. And oh how beautiful it sounded. I was completely taken by surprise. I had come to a homeschooling conference expecting to hear how to implement a Charlotte Mason education, with perhaps a splattering of Bible throughout from time to time. Instead, I found myself in a room with a group of women (and a few men) from all over the country, and various denominations, who I had never met before, worshipping our Creator together.

The refrain repeated throughout the conference was “trust Christ.” We sang hymns together throughout the conference. We prayed together. Donna-Jean Breckenridge’s talk was bathed with Scripture as she spoke about schooling in hard times by renewing your mind in Christ. She taught us that we renew our minds through prayer and rejoicing and praising Him. God is with us. Sometimes the hard times are the curriculum. But through it all, we can trust Him. Megan Hoyt talked about how music points to God. Brandy Vencel reminded us that while our children are under our authority, we are under God’s. Our authority must not be arbitrary. We can be corrupted in our thinking if we’re not careful. Lynn Bruce shared the heart of AO. She passionately expressed how God put it on the Advisory’s hearts to develop the booklist and curriculum and use the emerging technology of the Internet to make it available for free. They wanted as many people as God willed to have access to the same rich and wonderful CM education that they were providing for their children. It was heartwarming to hear of communities in Indian slums providing their children with a rich education because the Advisory had gone out of their way to make sure the books on their booklists were as economical as possible. Again, we were encouraged to trust God.

Care, Compassion, and Cultivating The Whole Person

Another theme that had a significant impact on me was this: the riches matter. Singing hymns and folksongs, picture study, composer study, nature study, copious amounts of time spent outside, handicrafts, drawing and art instruction, poetry, and Shakespeare. These things are not extras, as I have often treated them. They are what my children need. They are what we all need. These riches feed the whole mind and body. They calm us and bring us joy. Lynn Bruce explained studies that showed how increased Cortisol in the brain leads to stress, fear, and anxiety which shut down the mind. Oxytocin on the other hand, produces confidence and a relaxed state of mind, keeping us calm. And how do we increase Oxytocin? Among other things, a warm touch, music, art, singing, going for a walk, talking with someone who cares about you. In other words, the riches. So on that bad day, as Lynn said, “The riches may just save you.” Wendi Capehart whimsically called these riches, “The uncommon core.” She told us that if you view these things as extras you are clipping your wings. She explained that these riches are the leavening that helps us rise as human beings. So we spread the feast of ideas and allow our children the opportunity to love what is lovely. We don’t know what our children will love. So we put them in the way of it all. And this is not a burden or a stress for the teacher. It is a life sprung out of caring.

We were blessed to hear from some of the grown children of the Advisory who were the “guinea pigs” for AO’s Charlotte Mason education. This well known Charlotte Mason quote, which was quoted in almost every talk I heard, was put to them:

“Thou hast set my feet in a large room, should be the glad cry of every intelligent soul. Life should be all living, and not merely a tedious passing of time; not all doing or all feeling or all thinking – the strain would be too great – but, all living; that is to say, we should be in touch wherever we go, whatever we hear, whatever we see, with some manner of vital interest. We cannot give the children these interests; we prefer that they should never say they have learned botany or conchology, geology or astronomy. The question is not, – how much does the youth know? when he has finished his education – but how much does he care? and about how many orders of things does he care? In fact, how large is the room in which he finds his feet set? and, therefore, how full is the life he has before him?” – Charlotte Mason (Vol 3, School Education, Chapter XVI, p. 170)

How much did these progeny care, and about how many orders of things did they care? The answer was that they had so many things that they cared about. Firstly, they loved Christ. They also spoke about art, music, poetry, literature, science, and so much more. But more than these, the consistent thread throughout their various answers was that they loved people. They were compassionate toward people, even if they disagreed with them. They had the ability to listen to another as they spoke and engaged with the ideas that were different from their own. The development of compassion and empathy led two of these women to become foster moms.

The riches provide us with a full life. A life of relationships. Relationship with God, relationship with each other, and a relationship with the universe—God’s creation. A life full of the riches and the best literature asks you to care. As Wendi shared, a small child of 5 (her granddaughter) can stand in front of a painting that you had passed by without a second glance, and be captivated. She can fall in love.

There was so much more that was said that I could share. So much wisdom and practical application. But it will have to wait for another day. I am so thankful for my supportive husband who rearranged his work schedule to stay home with the kids so I could go. I am so thankful for this beautiful and rich curriculum that has been provided to me. I am thankful for the opportunity I had to learn from these wise women at the conference, mothers who have gone before me. I can’t wait for the next one, whenever that may be.

Graduation and Godliness: Sheryl’s Homeschool

I am very excited to start a new series here on the blog. I am blessed to know many veteran homeschoolers. Some of these moms, who have seen their children graduate, have kindly agreed to answer a few questions about their experiences. I hope that you will be encouraged and supported as you continue to serve God and your family through your homeschooling journey.

My first guest is Sheryl Stiemann. Sheryl has been homeschooling for 20 years and has seen three of her four children graduate.

Tell me about your family

We have four kids. The oldest Kyle (24) is married to Sarah and they have a son on the way. Then there is Jesse who is 22, Josiah 19, and our youngest Amanda is soon to be 16. My husband and I will celebrate 28 years of marriage in October. We began our “official” homeschool journey in 1996, so, we’re finishing our 20th year of homeschooling in May.

Why did you decide to homeschool and did you have a particular method or philosophy that you subscribed to?

We had friends who homeschooled their six children back in the 80s. They were different from everyone else we knew and we loved their family. They had a lot of obstacles to overcome, especially since there were very few homeschool families. My husband and I had graduated from the same high school two years apart and we both felt that we “survived public school.” He had been a christian in an openly hostile environment. I was not a Believer, but, since I didn’t party, was an “ok” student, and poor, I didn’t fit in anywhere. I found that when I became a Christian my already small circle got even smaller, and I only had one year left until graduation. We had our first son in 1991 and as we held him in our arms in the birth center we looked at each other and said, “homeschool.” It was decided. We didn’t have a clue, this was before the internet, but we felt that we weren’t going to send him to the wolves. I think that decision was mostly from fear, but the Lord is gracious. Even though I might have made homeschooling an idol, He was teaching me and giving me such grace. Our philosophy at the time we officially began our homeschool was to recreate public school. We sought a vigorous curriculum for our kindergarten student in 1996. We had a schoolroom, seatwork, a chalkboard, and, started every day at 8:00 am.

“What was the most rewarding thing for you and what do you think was the most important lesson that you and your children learned through homeschooling? Or, put another way, what fruit do you see now, in both you and your children, that homeschooling contributed to? How did homeschooling contribute to it?”

The most rewarding thing for me in homeschooling is having my kids around all the time. I loved having big late breakfasts together and watching them grow in so many ways. Teaching our kids to read is at the top of my list as well. There is nothing much more rewarding than having them read Scripture out loud to you because you were able to teach them to read. One of our very favorite stories is “The Mouse and the Motorcycle.” Having each of our kids read it out loud at night is still one of my favorite memories.

For our family, the most important thing that we all learned was that the Lord works through families, broken relationships, people who we just can’t get along with, and the different ways we think. He brings maturity through being with each other so much of the time. Homeschooling, working together most of the day, brings out our differences, and our sinful ways of dealing with each other in a way I don’t see possible if we were all apart for eight hours every day. Learning to love one another happens within the family. Homeschooling amplifies our weaknesses as parents, siblings, and children, which is painful and wonderful at the same time. Exposing our weakness should bring us to prayer for the Lord’s strength, and, to humbleness because we are weak and cause pain to others. We are in desperate need of a loving and faithful Savior. Our kids had some difficult times with each other. Looking back is painful, but because we kept at it, prayed for wisdom, and sought forgiveness, relationships were built, and there is a fortitude in dealing with difficult people that I don’t think we’d have if we were apart for many hours during the day.

Do you have regrets?

Yes, yes, and yes again. We put the older two in public school for one year. I still regret that decision, but, the boys were lonely since there weren’t a lot of homeschooling families in our church, I was pregnant with a high-risk pregnancy and had a two-year-old to care for. Because of our rigorous curriculum getting the work done seemed daunting. We put them in school, the oldest in 2nd grade and the next one in kindergarten. I wasn’t prepared for the work involved in sending them to school. Packing the backpacks and dealing with mountains of paperwork was harder than our first year of homeschooling. One of the first fights I had with the principal of the school was in not turning in the free lunch paperwork. She hounded me for that constantly. They wanted me to fill it in so they’d get more funding. I didn’t want them to get more funding so I wouldn’t turn it in. And so began our year of ongoing battles. Thankfully, we all survived. The kids started again the following year, we made it around four weeks and pulled them back out again. I am so grateful that we could homeschool them again. My other regret is using the rigorous curriculum. Even though a wiser homeschool mom with older kids kept telling me to go outside more, I felt like we had to finish all of our seatwork. I still like the curriculum, but, if I could go back, I’d lose most of the seatwork, just read together, and go outside a lot more often, and use a Charlotte Mason approach. I wish I hadn’t worried about measuring our homeschool success. I wish we had just enjoyed the journey, wherever it took us.

“Now that you are almost finished, as you look back at your time, is there anything you would change?

This goes along with my regrets, but I would definitely build more exploration into our days, not be so results-driven, or compare our homeschool with everyone else’s homeschool. I’d pray more with the kids, and have them pray out loud more. I’d do more fun things as well. Even when money is tight there are fun things to do together, even if it means taking a break from your actual “schoolwork.” I also would have liked to have more “hands-on” learning experiences, especially for high school, ie, having car clinics, where the kids would learn the mechanics of a car, how to change a flat tire, repair brakes, change the oil, etc. I think we would have all benefited from serving together more. Especially spending time outside of abortion clinics, sharing the gospel, and serving widows and orphans within the church. There are several in our church who serve at the local nursing home. It’s become such a blessing in their lives, and can easily be a part of homeschool life.

“What advice do you have for young moms who are still in the thick of their homeschooling life. Or what advice do you wish you had been given?

I would encourage young moms to realize that they can’t do it all. They may be in a season in life where they can’t chat on the phone with girlfriends, or workout as often as they like at the classes they’d like. Taking a walk with a little can bring much refreshment, as can taking a walk with the whole family. Don’t ignore your husband, make time for each other, if you can’t afford a babysitter, date each other at home. Put the kids to bed and order takeout, sit outside together and talk and laugh. Your kids will be blessed by this, and your homeschool will be refreshed often. Love those children entrusted to you. I wish I had loved big, and not focused on such small stuff, and most of the stuff with young children is small. Give lots of hugs. If a subject is too taxing for you as a mom and you find yourself frustrated with your child, toss the subject. It all gets repeated up through college. They’ll be fine. Your relationship is much more important than a school subject.

The Woods, a Mole, and Homeschool Sanity

Traveling the long stretches of highway from Nashville to North Carolina, on our family road trip this January, gave me much time for contemplation. The view of woods on either side of the road remained the same for several hours. These woods were stripped bare of its finery, set in the rest of winter. For some stretches, snow blanketed the earth beneath the trees. In others, the snow had already melted revealing fallen leaves, twigs, stones, and rocks along the ground. I had just read the third chapter of Wind in the Willows to my daughter and the description of Mole wondering around the woods in winter was still fresh in my mind.

“The country lay bare and entirely leafless around him, and he thought that he had never seen so far and so intimately into the insides of things as on that winter day when Nature was deep in her annual slumber and seemed to have kicked the clothes off …

He was glad that he liked the country undecorated, hard, and stripped of its finery. He had got to the bare bones of it, and they were fine and strong and simple.”

As I looked out my window I was struck by that line, “He had got to the bare bones of it.”

Bare bones

This wood, with its bare trees, hadn’t lost its beauty. Yes, it was subdued and scaled back, yet still beautiful. It was strong. The trees stripped back of all their frills revealed their true self—their bones, so to speak. What became interesting to me was that when the woods were stripped to its bare bones, more of itself was revealed. You could see the landscape that the trees were a part of more clearly than when the trees were in full bloom. Every curve in the ground, hill, exposed root, the variety of color in the fallen leaves covering the ground were its own kind of beauty.

As I contemplated this ‘bare bones’ wood, I considered that for the tree to remain healthy and survive winter, it needed to lose its leaves so that it might conserve its energy and be able to grow in the spring with renewed vigor. It needed to rest.

Marveling at the amazing handiwork of God in building this rhythm of rest in nature, a connection was slowly dawning on me. An analogy between this natural time of resting and shedding of leaves to the bare bones, and my homeschool.

I had been feeling overwhelmed in my homeschool. Trying to adequately meet the needs of three students across multiple disciplines while caring for a toddler can send you loopy.

I needed to rest. I was beginning to burn out.

I then read Christy quote Nancy Kelly, “Keep cutting back until there is peace in your home.”

There it was. A shedding. A cutting back to the barebones. Not in the sense of ceasing from work, but cutting back the excess in order to have peace and rest in the work I was doing. The bare trees were still living, the woods still thriving, but they were not expelling the energy that was needed to maintain their health during the winter season. We can’t always see the ground beneath when our days are full of foliage. And this foliage can beautiful: music lessons, artist study, clubs, co-ops, sports activities, craft projects, play dates, camps, art lessons, extra math tutoring, composer study, foreign languages, the list can go on. All of these things are good, true, and beautiful, and are worthy of our time. But if the pursuit of these studies results in a crowded life with no room to see forward, perhaps a cutting back to bare bones is needed. As I contemplated this further I realized that it’s not simply a cutting back of activities, but a reordering of priorities. It’s getting back to the heart of what education is and answering the fundamental question, “Why am I doing this?” Perhaps it’s my mind that needed to shed its foliage so that I could re-energize and see more “intimately into the insides of things.” To see clearly where we were headed and the ground we were treading.

By answering “Why?” I could more easily identify those aspects of our current homeschool life that did not meet that purpose. I would have a point with which to measure all curriculums, activities, and studies against. I could then immediately identify and clear out any that did not meet our “Why?” I would find the bare bones of it, and it would “be fine and strong and simple.”

But what of the things that do answer the “Why?” and yet still seem too much? Charlotte Mason says that “Education is a life.” Christy takes this to heart and answers, “When everything was done in its own time and we allowed our learning to spill over into our ‘life,’ there really was time for everything without rushing.” To understand this is to realize that learning isn’t something that must be done between certain hours but is lived out through all moments of our day. I needed to redeem those moments. We could sing songs in our foreign language while we drive in the car. Discuss a book we’ve been reading while we take a nature walk or cook dinner, and even play classical music while we have breakfast.

Space

Considering this further, I also saw a link between cutting back to bare bones and the space that is created because of it. The woods, stripped of its finery, created space. It was as though the woods were breathing. Each tree was individual, not blending or competing with the tree beside it. There was space to see. Space to breathe.

Stripping back to the bare bones creates space. It creates the atmosphere in which the education that I provide can thrive. There is space for my children to process new learning in order to see “so far and so intimately into the insides of things.”

“After learning something new children need a Sabbath, a time to process, internalize, to find pleasure in the new learning, and to make connections to previous learning.” – Carroll Smith

My children needed the space, the time, to process and internalize. Diligence in homeschooling doesn’t mean filling in all the space with long seemingly endless lessons, or too many extra-curricular activities and classes. By shedding the foliage in my homeschool I get back to the bare bones of education and create the space for that learning to take root in the souls of my children, shaping them and molding them as persons made in the image of God.

“For all our lives, we are human beings, in an active state of learning, responding, understanding. Education extends to all of life.” —Susan Schaeffer Macaulay

May I remember this next fall, as I prepare for the inevitable winter.

A book I found helpful in answering the “Why?” question was For The Children’s Sake: Foundations of Education for Home and School by Susan Schaeffer Macaulay. I highly recommend it.

Mommy Meltdowns and Moving Moments

2015, in many ways, was a challenging year for me. I really hadn’t anticipated how difficult it would be to have a toddler underfoot while trying to educate my three spirited young girls and maintain a peaceful, orderly, and clean home. Amidst the chaos, I lost focus. I became weighted down by duties, responsibilities, and self-imposed expectations. Life became a battle to keep my head above water and just survive. My well laid plans for my restful Charlotte Mason homeschool became a bunch of checklists that I was failing to check off each day/week.

This feeling of drowning under diapers and duty had a snowball effect on how I treated my children. They became the object of too many mommy meltdowns. I yelled far too often at work not completed in my scheduled time or when asked to read another story while trying to cook dinner (or any other time that I was busy…which was almost always), not to mention the incessant sibling squabbles. I became increasingly grumpy the more overwhelmed I felt, and I began to view the children as an annoyance, getting in the way of what I needed to get done. I had lost sight of the fact that my calling was to raise and educate them. My children should have been my focus, not my checklist.

I knew that these meltdowns were sinful. I knew that I was completely over-reacting to the circumstance. But I just couldn’t seem to pull myself out of it. The more I melted down, the more guilty I felt, the more I thought myself the worst mother in the world, the more I melted down. You get the picture.

After one such afternoon as a grumpy mommy, E-Age-7 came to me while I was preparing dinner and asked if I would let her watch TV. We are strict on screen time for our kids and this was a request outside of approved viewing time. I looked at her with exasperation, replying with a resounding “NO!” and reminding her abruptly that she knew it wasn’t TV day. She accepted my answer without fuss and continued to loiter around the kitchen (much to my annoyance) as I continued to prepare dinner. A few moments later she began again.

“Thank you, Mum.”

“What for?” I replied. “I said no about the TV.”

She shrugged her shoulders as she answered. “I know. I meant thank you for everything that you do for us.”

She then promptly ran off to play with her sisters.

I was stunned. I was immediately ashamed of myself and at the same time filled with an overwhelming love for my children. My child had just showed me the grace that I had failed to show them. They had showed me the grace that I had been praying for. They didn’t view me as the worst mother in the world. They didn’t hang on to every meltdown as if that was the one that was going to destroy their lives. They loved me unconditionally. They forgave me.

That was the moment that changed me. God used my sweet child to answer my prayer. He used her to remind me who I am and what I’m here for. He used her to remind me who they are. My children are persons in their own right. They are made in God’s image, individuals made with their own distinct personalities. They were not an item on my To Do List. They were living, breathing human beings who were to be loved, cherished, nurtured, and enjoyed.

It was at this same moment that I was reminded of what I had been studying in God’s Word.

“In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live though him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” (1 John 4:9-11)

More than providing a good education, more than keeping a clean home, more than keeping checklists, I am to love my children because God first loved me and sent His son to die for me.

Happy New Year!

« Older posts

© 2017 Mum To Mom

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑