Mum To Mom

Musings of an Aussie Mother Living in the USA

Category: Parenting

Graduation and Godliness: Cindy’s Homeschool

Mere Motherhood: Morning Times, Nursery Rhymes, & My Journey Toward Sanctification

This Christmas I was given the book Mere Motherhood: Morning Times, Nursery Rhymes, & My Journey Toward Sanctification by Cindy Rollins. Cindy is a mom of nine with over thirty years of homeschooling experience. For over ten years, she blogged her way through her efforts to homeschool under the principles of Charlotte Mason and classical education. Today, she is an occasional contributor at circeinstitute.org and is the co-host of The Mason Jar podcast on the CiRCE Institute Podcast Network.

I have been listening to her podcast for some time and having heard great things about this book I opened it with much anticipation. By the second page, the tears were welling up. She knew me and knew what this anxious mama needed to hear. I knew I had to share some of her wisdom with you.

“Perhaps the greater portion of you are in the middle years. You are just starting to panic a little bit. You are beginning to realize that tea parties don’t cure sin. You want some assurance that all will be well when you are starting to fear it might not be. Something may go wrong. You might miss stamping out a fire or two. I think this book will be a comfort to you. You are not alone. We who have gone before are still here. We will look you in the eye and say, ‘Motherhood hurts like hell’ but the old dragon skin does peel away. God is real. He is there. He doesn’t just love your children; he loves you. I have been young, and now I am old, and I have not seen the righteous forsaken.”

Throughout this book, Cindy gives insight into her 30-year homeschooling journey. She shares stories of her family, her successes and difficulties in homeschooling, and the trials and the triumphs of motherhood, all the while weaving through it drops of wisdom, drawing us to look to our Father in heaven.

“Motherhood is a place of dreamy hopes and crushed fantasies and the hard, hard work of sinners in relationship with one another day by day.”

“He is trustworthy and I can give my precious family to him.”

She shares how she used the practice of Morning Time, reading together Scripture, books, poetry, Shakespeare, and singing hymns to ground her family in the past as culture shifted around them.

“It is a habit that ties the past with the future – a liturgy of love. Morning Time is a way to collect grains of sand. It should not be a way to complicate life but rather simplify it.”

Because,

“For me the years did roll by, and they are rolling by for you, too. You are never going to have a lot of time, but you do have a little time here and a little time there, and those little times all add up to a life.”

She tells us how important our roles as mothers are.

“Motherhood is a high calling. Civilization depends upon motherhood. I do not believe you should lose yourself so thoroughly in your motherhood that that is all you are. That is not healthy for you or your family. But I do think women need to know that motherhood is a high-value commodity in the market of civilization.
Mama, you are the first pillar of education. You are a vital part of the infrastructure of culture, family, and even the body of Christ.
This is not about having the perfect family or the perfect school. Your success or failure doesn’t rest on your perfection, just your faithfulness.”

Yet she reminds us that ultimately, our children are God’s work. Not ours. He is in control.

“How could I go on creating beautiful pottery pieces if they weren’t going to turn out as I intended or hoped? … I had an epiphany. I was not the potter. A potter was shaping my children, but it was not me. I had forgotten what Charlotte Mason wrote: “Children are born persons.” Until that moment, I had not heard her with my heart nor truly understood with my mind. My son was not my product. He was the work of a great artist: the Creator of all.”

And she describes how God uses motherhood for our sanctification.

“Part of the sanctification of motherhood is learning to trust God with our children. One day we will come to the end of what we can do for our children. In those early days our children cannot live without us, but slowly they grow up and move away. This is almost always heart-wrenching, but the process also gives us a chance to lean on our Heavenly Father and to trust Him more. God has entrusted us with a great treasure. It is our life lesson to hand it back. To let it go. Our children must not become ‘Our Precious.’ In the end, we are merely mothers. Mothers who are also children of our Father. Let us run into His arms with great joy, knowing that when we see Him face to face we will not be standing alone.”

There was so much more to share but there isn’t space here. If you are a mom, especially a homeschooling mom, you just need to read this book. You will be glad you did. It is available to purchase here from The CiRCE Institute.

Other posts in this series

Graduation and Godliness: Sheryl’s Homeschool
Graduation and Godliness: Peggy’s Homeschool

Graduation and Godliness: Peggy’s Homeschool

I am very excited to share with you the second installment of my Graduation and Godliness series. I have been blessed to interview godly women who have homeschooled for a long time and have graduated some of their children. You can find Part 1 here. These women have many years of experience in the trenches and I am so thankful for their willingness to share what they’ve learned with us. Today we are blessed to hear from my friend, Peggy. I was so encouraged by Peggy’s wise words. I know you will be too.

Meet my friend, Peggy Hobden and her family

Hi! My name is Peggy Hobden and I feel very blessed to be asked to write on your blog, Tania. I have been married to Randy for 28 years. The Lord has blessed us with seven children and we’ve always homeschooled. Our children and their ages are Tim (26), Melissa (23), Stephanie (19), Heather (17), Chris (15), Kimmy (almost 13), and Grace (8). We have graduated the oldest three. Tim graduated with a Business-Finance Degree from UCF (mostly scholarship), Melissa is attending Valencia and getting a Business-Culinary Degree, Stephanie just graduated from Seminole State with her AA Degree and is continuing her education at Rollins College to pursue her Teaching Music Degree (mostly scholarship). Heather will most likely graduate next year and she is very creative and artsy. She wants to open her own Etsy store. Chris has an engineer brain like Dad. Kimmy and Grace are very creative. God made each one of our seven so different and we’re very thankful for each one of them and their unique ways. 😍

Why did you decide to homeschool?

We first saw Randy’s older sister homeschooling her four kids and at first we thought she was crazy. 😀 A couple of years later the Lord laid it upon our hearts to desire to homeschool our children – His way. We have tried different methods and curriculum over the years. Looking back when I had many young children, we had many unplanned days – lots of park days, field trips, reading aloud and hands on learning. Exhausting but fun, I miss those days…. We incorporated some of Charlotte Masons’ methods – narration, copy work, nature study and lots of outdoor play. Then as some of my kids got older we did co-ops and sometimes had great classic books discussions with others.

What was most rewarding about homeschooling?

The most rewarding part of homeschooling is getting to be with my wonderful kids every day. Sure most days are tough and exhausting but so worth it!! I’m grateful to be able to teach my children from The Word of God every day. I get to see my children building good relationships with one another. If they were at school every day this wouldn’t happen. It’s neat to see them go to one another – whether it’s a math problem, writing problem, or just to share life together. I love seeing godly fruit in their lives and their servant hearts. We love taking field trips together, even if it’s a last minute trip to the beach. 😀

Any regrets?

I think all Mom’s have some regret. I wish we had hid more of God’s Word in our hearts as a family. We also don’t want to compare ourselves with others. Of course I’m guilty of that too. Mom’s focus on godly character. Read lots of good books aloud that demonstrate God’s ways. I wish I had read aloud even more. Take the time to really listen to your precious children. I wish I hadn’t been so busy….. Cleaning, wasting time on the wrong things. Mom’s make wise choices for your days – seek God’s face and His plans for your family. Lots of prayer time – hide in the bathroom to pray.😀 For the days are short. Too short! You will blink and your beautiful children will be all grown up!! 😰

Any advice?

Mom’s make your days more fun; relax about school – plan more field trips, family vacations, date nights with your hubby, (even a meal at home on the porch-just the two of you), sing hymns together and make many great memories. Love on your children, hug them often – even when they think they’re too big 😀. Really enjoy them at every stage, study God’s Word together, read aloud often and have fun enjoying life together. Focus on our Lord Jesus Christ and serving together as a family. Focus on things that matter for eternity!!

 

Graduation and Godliness: Sheryl’s Homeschool
Graduation and Godliness: Peggy’s Homeschool ← You Are Here

Mommy Meltdowns and Moving Moments

2015, in many ways, was a challenging year for me. I really hadn’t anticipated how difficult it would be to have a toddler underfoot while trying to educate my three spirited young girls and maintain a peaceful, orderly, and clean home. Amidst the chaos, I lost focus. I became weighted down by duties, responsibilities, and self-imposed expectations. Life became a battle to keep my head above water and just survive. My well laid plans for my restful Charlotte Mason homeschool became a bunch of checklists that I was failing to check off each day/week.

This feeling of drowning under diapers and duty had a snowball effect on how I treated my children. They became the object of too many mommy meltdowns. I yelled far too often at work not completed in my scheduled time or when asked to read another story while trying to cook dinner (or any other time that I was busy…which was almost always), not to mention the incessant sibling squabbles. I became increasingly grumpy the more overwhelmed I felt, and I began to view the children as an annoyance, getting in the way of what I needed to get done. I had lost sight of the fact that my calling was to raise and educate them. My children should have been my focus, not my checklist.

I knew that these meltdowns were sinful. I knew that I was completely over-reacting to the circumstance. But I just couldn’t seem to pull myself out of it. The more I melted down, the more guilty I felt, the more I thought myself the worst mother in the world, the more I melted down. You get the picture.

After one such afternoon as a grumpy mommy, E-Age-7 came to me while I was preparing dinner and asked if I would let her watch TV. We are strict on screen time for our kids and this was a request outside of approved viewing time. I looked at her with exasperation, replying with a resounding “NO!” and reminding her abruptly that she knew it wasn’t TV day. She accepted my answer without fuss and continued to loiter around the kitchen (much to my annoyance) as I continued to prepare dinner. A few moments later she began again.

“Thank you, Mum.”

“What for?” I replied. “I said no about the TV.”

She shrugged her shoulders as she answered. “I know. I meant thank you for everything that you do for us.”

She then promptly ran off to play with her sisters.

I was stunned. I was immediately ashamed of myself and at the same time filled with an overwhelming love for my children. My child had just showed me the grace that I had failed to show them. They had showed me the grace that I had been praying for. They didn’t view me as the worst mother in the world. They didn’t hang on to every meltdown as if that was the one that was going to destroy their lives. They loved me unconditionally. They forgave me.

That was the moment that changed me. God used my sweet child to answer my prayer. He used her to remind me who I am and what I’m here for. He used her to remind me who they are. My children are persons in their own right. They are made in God’s image, individuals made with their own distinct personalities. They were not an item on my To Do List. They were living, breathing human beings who were to be loved, cherished, nurtured, and enjoyed.

It was at this same moment that I was reminded of what I had been studying in God’s Word.

“In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live though him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” (1 John 4:9-11)

More than providing a good education, more than keeping a clean home, more than keeping checklists, I am to love my children because God first loved me and sent His son to die for me.

Happy New Year!

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